Hmmmm...Am I... Happpy?

The last few days I have been feeling weird. I've been trying to describe it to people and they best description I could come up with was "Prozac-ed". I know that's probably not very PC but truthfully that's what it is. No serious emotions, no serious happiness, frustration, stress, or anything. For the first time ever, I am just "here."

"What is this strange feeling," I keep asking myself? And then, "when will it go away?"

After having lunch with Andy earlier this afternoon, I think I've found the root cause although I am no more at ease with it. I think I am what people call "content." Is it possible? That after 32 years I am experiencing a truly contented feeling for the first time in my life? I am not used to this! I am thinking perhaps I've been on an emotional roller coaster most of my life without knowing it.

I've always gauged my feelings as "happy" or "upset." No in-between-- and I gotta tell you, there might be something to this in-between. Of course, I would never give up the happy feelings I am missing a little at the moment- but I am mellow! Relaxed! Feeling on top of things! It's kind of ridiculous.

Maybe it's hormones, or maybe I am just coming into a wonderful part of life. I am not sure. But At least for the rest of today, since I am a tried-and-true Type A, I am not going to just let this be. I am going to work on accepting how I feel and learning to enjoy it. I'll report back.