You Have No Idea How You'll Feel

if you are pregnant, or have ever been pregnant you must feel my pain here. I have heard this phrase so many times I could puke. The discussion about how/if/when I will return to work always leads to this sentence.

The conversation begins with someone asking about my leave. I disclose that as a business owner, I can't take a traditional leave, and will be back to work in a small capacity within 3 weeks. SCREEEECH!!!! The maternity leave conversation comes to a halt as Ms. Doe Eyes looks at me in panic for my situation. Then the old, "well, you'll see. You just don't know how you'll feel. I simply couldn't imagine going back to work after I had my first baby."

I get it. It's not easy, you're world is in upheaval, you love your new little muffin to death (at least I hope so, we'll see), and the career escalator is no longer a top priority. On that level I really do get it.

But the way people say this to me is like all of a sudden I am going to become an alien version of myself and be willing to live on nothing but rice in order to stay home.

As the breadwinner in our little soon-to-be family, it is first of all not an option to stay home with Muffin. So I guess on that level I resent the shock and horror I see in Doe Eyes' face because there is simply nothing I can do about it.

However in addition, I have a great work situation and a great team-- and it's important to me. Am I really going to decide after giving birth to Muffin that nothing else matters except him or her? And if I do, God help me, what will I do when Muffin Goes to College?